The dance of Yang & Yin

A normal day in Covid time

I wake up always very eager to live my day. Happy, I would say, most of the times. And when I am not happy I am at least trustful that the day will bring something beautiful.

And I start to do my things… Cat feeding, coffee, vitamins, quick check at messages, sometimes the news, writing down relevant thoughts or lists of the important things to do, the planning of my work day – Sangeeta rings the bell and then she starts cleaning my place – a very necessary yoga to keep my back straight, shower and getting ready to go out, a very loved long walk often interposed by phone calls or vocal messages to friends, or photography sessions, and often followed by shopping or other chores, home, shower, tea break, phone calls or writing down relevant thoughts and ideas again… or posting on insta or fb… and then suddenly…

LUNCH-TIME.

Lunch always gives me joy. It’s like the peak of the morning…

I just eat fruit, yogurth, 9 almonds and coffee, so the excitement is not so much related to food… It’s more that I am very aware that the energy will soon start to shift, change, becoming something else… so I really savour the moments…

The morning has something of the divine… It’s the Sun that sometimes I even watch rising, it’s the birds chirping or crowing or singing loud (as in cookoos, peacocks, eagles, ducks), it’s the insects humming, it’s the full spectrum of choices ahead of me, the vastness of life embracing me like a lover… rain or shine, literally, I feel the love that I have for her – life – and that she has for me… and it’s like a long moment of eternity where everything counts and yet nothing really matters because, “hey it’s morning, all is perfect and if it’s not soon it will be”…

Reflecting on these feelings I often thought “This is the Yang effect”. The energy of creation, of the male principle, the Sky, the Sun, the height where hope is trust, with no goal and yet a sense of the achievable…

Then LUNCH and all starts to settle… It’s peace, the sense of a well deserved nourishment. It’s balance, equilibrium… Coffee and a sigarette… sometimes watching something on my computer reflected onto a giant TV screen…

Lightness, distraction and then the watch, calling me to the starting of my work day…

I sit at my computer. A desktop with a big screen… I lose the sense of what is outside. I get lost into writing, or whatever I am doing. I mostly mute the phone to avoid distractions and getting lost becomes even deeper, I sink and disappear to reemerge with the sense that “Yes, I did what I had to do today”… Time is ticking, fading, running

A sense of accomplishment, most of the times.

Hunger, like my cat, calls me to think about food, what to cook… The joy of anticipation…

But it is also the time when I can get angry at someone, or loose my cool… Pure joy is just a memory… It’s left behind… The Yang energy is losing me… Yin is different. It feels heavy on my body… It really does… The cat is starting to ask for food, the phone is silently screaming… Okay, I’ll pick up. I am happy to talk, it’s a friend, it’s my sis, or my nieces… The cat is starting to increase her request for attention… I feed her… she is happy. I am talking on the phone, while preparing my dinner and it is much more about food, about taste, about wine, about indulging…

DINNER-TIME

There is pleasure, and satisfaction, and Yang is gone, it has left me. Yin has the best of me while the Sun has sunk into dark, birds and insects have gone to sleep… The silence of the evening soon to be night is broken by harsh sounds from the road… shadows of bats and howls break the obscure skyline…

I am defeated… I am weak, I am tired… It’s time to sleep even if I fight for the day to last longer…
I know the nightlife I love is not happening… No tango, no friends… the hollow social life that these times are offering, land of the lames, is not appealing to me… I’ll wait till the time will be right and the joy perfect again… I know how to stay still…

I give in to the night… to sleep… to Morpheus kingdom, to Yin, to death…

Already waiting, with a smile on my sleeping face, for another morning…